What I am about to tell you is TOP SECRET! We are interviewing kids to take part in a SPECIAL MISSION.
It's also VERY SCARY so make sure there are no grownups watching before you continue.
Planet Earth is about to be invaded by ALIENS from the planet CAISSA.
The CAISSANS are the cruellest beings in the universe, and possessed of a phenomenal intelligence.
We are interviewing YOU to see if YOU are good enough to join the army and take them on.
Before we continue you have to do something for me.
It's absolutely vital that no one else finds out about this.
If anyone sees you being nasty and horrid to anyone else they'll be suspicious.
So you have to promise that in future you'll ALWAYS be REALLY NICE to everyone you meet.
OK?
Not very many kids get all three answers right, you know.
Only the smartest, bravest and most violent kids in the world can join the army.
No grownups, of course.
Kids are more intelligent than grownups - your brain gets less powerful as you grow older.
Kids are braver than grownups - you get scared of more things as you get older.
Kids are more violent than grownups - grownups spend most of their time teaching kids to be kind to each other.
But what's the use of kind and gentle people when you're fighting a war to save the planet?
You will undergo intensive training with some of the world's meanest, strictest teachers.
You will learn how to fight, and how to kill.
You will learn to handle some of the deadliest weapons in the universe.
TAKE A LOOK AT THE BATTLEFIELD AND ARMIES NOW.
Are you prepared to continue?
The army will include eight footsoldiers, each armed with a sword.
They may not be the strongest members of the army, but they're certainly among the bravest.
You can train to be a footsoldier at the PAWN SCHOOL.
Then there's the cavalry. Two soldiers armed with lances who ride horses into battle.
Hey, it must be pretty cool to do that!!
You can train to join the cavalry at the KNIGHT SCHOOL.
Then there are two soldiers armed with crossbows.
It's not so easy to use a crossbow - you have to be pretty smart to use such a violent weapon!
You have to go to the BISHOP SCHOOL if you want to learn to use a crossbow.
Then there are two soldiers armed with longbows.
Even more violent than crossbows, they can shoot right across the battlefield.
You can practise using a longbow at the ROOK SCHOOL.
Next, there's the cannon, which destroys everything in its sight!
Only the world's most violent kids can learn how to use this weapon.
If you want to have a go, try it out at the QUEEN SCHOOL.
Finally, the king, who decides how the battle should be fought.
To be a king you have to be expert at using all the other weapons, as it's your job to tell the members of your army what to do.
You have to be at least as brave and violent as everyone else in the army. But you also have to have superhuman intelligence.
Train to be a king by visiting the KING SCHOOL.
Have you now completed all your assignments - and collected all your certificates to prove it?
We've been watching your progress very carefully. We now have to select the army to represent Planet Earth against the Caissans.
You understand that only the sixteen toughest, bravest and most intelligent kids in the world will be chosen.
So don't be too disappointed if you are not one of those selected.
You can rest assured that the future of the planet will be in good hands.
You'd better contine and find out.
First of all, we're looking for eight footsoldiers.
Click on the MAGIC BUTTON to find out whether you've been selected for the infantry.
If you haven't been chosen, I guess you'd better move on, just in case.
We're also looking for two kids to join the cavalry, to become knights riding into battle.
Perhaps one of them will be you. Click on the magic button and find out.
You'd better try again - perhaps you'll be lucky next time.
Next we need two archers with crossbows - two bishops.
To be a bishop would be really wicked, but don't forget we have thousands of kids to choose from.
It's not looking so good if you haven't been picked yet. But see what happens next.
At this point we're looking for the four toughest kids in the world.
It looks like you're not going to be selected. But maybe you'll be one of the two rooks - archers with longbows.
If your name hasn't come up there's really not much hope, I'm afraid.
We're down to finding the two most aggressive kids on the planet now.
The next name to come up will be the queen - who operates the cannon. There's only one of those so it almost certainly won't be you.
We're just down to one now. Let's hope they've found someone really good to be the King.
I'm sorry. I know you're going to be really upset after you've worked so hard.
But, let's face it, you're probably just too nice a person to fight a battle.
But, before you go, why not click to find out who's been selected to be the King.
Remember, this will be the toughest, bravest, most violent, and, above all, the most intelligent kid on the planet.
Some important news has just come in.
One of the Caissan flying saucers has been held up in a traffic jam on the Milky Way!
All they have is their King and their footsoldiers.
You'd better start the battle quickly before the rest of them arrive!
If you're careful you've got a good chance of winning.
Congratulations on winning the battle!
You have saved Planet Earth for future generations.
But be warned.
The Caissans will return. Next time they will be stronger.
And there will be many more foes to fight along the way.
We'll be calling on your services again.